Alleluia!

As with all holidays now that my mom has passed away, celebrating the joy of Easter is bittersweet.

I can't help but feel torn in my heart when the recessional hymn at Easter Sunday Mass is {my favorite} Jesus Christ is Risen Today! So many memories flood my mind of my mom singing that hymn whether it be at mass, around the house, in the car... {we are a very musical family}. 

While the spiritual & intellectual side of me is rejoicing that Jesus' resurrection has allowed my mom to be united with her Savior, the human & emotional side of me is grieving that she's not still here with me.

A little over a year ago I read Scott Hahn's The Lamb's Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth {highly recommend if you haven't already read it} and his explanation of the mass helped me to redirect my perspective, especially on religious holidays. 

As if the mystery of transubstantiation of the bread and wine into Jesus' divine body and blood isn't enough of a reason to attend mass as frequently as possible, the presence of all the angels, saints, and holy men and women of God who have gone before us added a whole new bonus for this little girl at heart who desperately misses her Mommy. God is so merciful and understanding of our weak human nature that I truly believe he uses a relationship as special as that of a mother and her child/a child and her mother to help us grow closer to Him.

I have learned to crave Mass, not only spiritually, in order to worship and receive the Eucharist, but humanly as well because, it is at Mass that I am the closest to my dear mom. How special that on all the most important of holidays & events - Easter, Christmas, Christenings, Weddings, and even Mother's Day we attend Mass because it is there that we get to unite our worship with that of all the angels, saints, and holy men and women of God.

So, this year, just like every other year since my mom passed away, I got choked up as I sang the third verse of  Jesus Christ is Risen Today: 


But the pains which he endured, Alleluia!
Our salvation have procured; Alleluia!
Now above the sky he’s king, Alleluia!
Where the angels ever sing. Alleluia!


 I had to stop singing in order to hold back the waterfall of tears that were otherwise inevitable. But this time, what brought tears to my eyes, was the image of my mom, singing the same words as me in perfect worship, along with all the angels, of Jesus Christ, our Risen Lord.

How could I possibly not be happy for her?

Happy Easter! He is Risen! Alleluia!